August 16, 2009

Tribute series resumed--Momma Sue

Because it has been a while since I have written a tribute, I just want to make sure everyone remembers that I am doing this so that people know how much I appreciate them before they die. I'm saving the best for last.

Momma Sue is wonderful because she is incredibly diplomatic and has a very long fuse. I know this because she and I have different views in politics and religion and yet, we can discuss things without getting into a heated arguement. This is more a reflection on her than on me, who can get excited quite easily. I think God is trying to get me to be more like her in that area. This has also served her well in her blended families.

She is also judicious in her advice, meaning that she doesn't give much unless you ask her. The ability to hold your tongue when you are itching to be helpful is a rare and wonderful quality in a person. At least it is for me. Maybe she doesn't really struggle with the desire of giving advice. I have also appreciated her advice as the only woman in my extended family who has raised more than one child at a time (my mom doesn't quite qualify because her two kids were eight years apart, which almost makes them two only children). She is a living example that you can survive having more than two children close together with your sanity (mostly) intact. She has helped me keep things in perspective many time.

On thing I have really enjoyed is seeing her goofy side come out over the last few years. Granted, she has to compete against a hopeless goofball, but she rises valiently to the occaison and seems to completely enjoy participating in absolute silliness.

Finally, she is very generous in many ways.

Momma Sue, thank you for being a great mother-in-law.

July 29, 2009

"How are you dealing with the heat?"

This is the number one question folks back in the Midwest ask me when I call them. Before we left, my dad, who lived in Scottsdale tried to tell me about how miserably hot it gets in the summer. And he is right. Those folks who say, "But its a dry heat" fail to mention that it is an incredibly intense heat that feels like it is instantaneously burning through ten layers of skin. In fact, I would say the phrase, "It's a dry heat" applies up to ninety-five degrees. It is not overly hot and because of the low humidity, sweat evaporates instantaneously. Above that temperature, it really isn't comfortable to be outside when the sun is up. Given that, I would still take Arizona heat over high humidity heat of the south (or near south). I still call Missouri the "State of Misery" because the summer temperatures are in the 90's with 70 to 90 percent humidity. Everyone walks around constantly wet, unless you have air conditioning. By the way, one of the heat index calculators on the web said that 95 degrees with a 75% relative humidity feels like 128 degrees F!

One way we "deal" with the heat is to go in our pool. However, even that is not as refreshing as it once was because the water gets pretty hot and the parts of you that are above water are still having to cope with 100+ temperatures. It is hard to play in the pool.

Another way to "deal" with the heat is to go out as early as you can. We just go out in our backyard and play a few games, taking frequent water and air-conditioning breaks before heading out. By 9:30 a.m., however, it is too late. One day, I tried going on a hike with the kids at 9 a.m. at the Usery Mountains. We were out 30 minutes climing up a trial and heading right back down. The kids were flushed and I think I got hit with a bad case of heat exhaustion. I slept most of the afternoon, letting them play and watch TV.

The last way we are "dealing" with the heat is by keeping our living room free of furniture so that we can run around and use the gymnastics mat. We have been playing a lot of tag in the house. Actually, a final way to deal with the heat is to say, "We will be able to play outdoors from September through May because it will still be warm" Most people around here deal with the heat by leaving and going to higher elevations. We are talking about a trip to the Payson area to enjoy a river, hiking and maybe fishing.

In other news....
Things are getting better, slowly on the home front. The homeschooling convention connected me to three women that were really friendly to me. I literally walked up to the one woman I who was in the last seminar with me and asked her if I could have lunch with her and her friends. We all had a great conversation together! She has four kids about my age, most of them boys (Thank you God!). Another woman in the group and I have already gotten together to talk. Her kids are much older than mine, but like good homeschooling kids, played well with mine :-). They moved to the area three weeks after we did from Massachusettes. We have settled on a church to focus our efforts of "assimilating". Our final decision will be made in the fall and will be based on whether we can find a small group with whom to fellowship. The girls have become good friends with a neighbor who has twin daughters that are Jessi's age. I have been freed from the tyranny of Bejewelled by finally getting a score above 100,000. It has freed up my time to write a little bit more. My kids are stomping at the bit to start school at this point and I am working to figure out a schedule, with God's help. It is trickier with three kids, even though I am having them do a lot of subjects together. There are a lot of subjects, based on age, that we can't all do together. In general, God is good, and He is living up to His promise in Joshua 1:9--"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be timid. Do not be afraid. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

The next topic will continue my tribute series.

June 14, 2009

My first six weeks of looking for new churches

Recently, God has chosen to move us 1800 miles away from a church I really love and all the friends, who are as close as brothers and sisters to me and my family. The process of finding a new church is daunting, especially since the church we left is the ONLY church in which I have been a member and the ONLY church I have attended with any regularity. I am acting on faith that God will bring us to a church where we not only feel comfortable and loved, but will also be a church where we can do His business in our own, unique style. Until then, we are left trying church after church and gaining experience as “the new people”. As I go to each church, there are a myriad of etiquette questions I am trying to figure out, and I thought I would share with you the questions that have come up so far:

1. Do I really have to fill out a card with my personal information if I am really just visiting for the first time? What if I decide after filling out the information that I really don’t want to attend the church again? By that time the information is in the offering plate and can’t be taken back! The church knows where I live!
2. What do I say to the people who are following up with a call to see how I liked the church if I really didn’t like it? Jesus was gentle and humble in spirit. Yet he also engaged the Pharisees in a “Whose yo’ Daddy?” debate. So if I have just been to a church where no one except the Children’s Ministry workers said a word to us, should I mention that fact if they ever decide to call me back?
3. If the follow up call is made while I am gone and the person leaves a message, and I have no intention of darkening the doors of the church ever again, do I ignore the call or call back and say, “Please remove our names from your list. I don't think your church is a good fit for us.”.
4. What do I say to the friend of a friend, who invited us to her church which she really loves when I didn’t share her rapturous experience? Can we still explore potential friendship if I handle it right?
5. Why would a Children’s Ministry worker ask us at the beginning of the service if we want to permenantly sign our children on their roster when we have just told them that we are first time visitors? This happened at one church which required you to sign your children at each location, rather than having a central "processing" area. When we dropped each of our four children off in their respective rooms, we were asked that question each and every time, so I can only assume that it is a standard question in their repetoire. Puh-lease! How many people know within the first five minutes of stepping into a church that this is the church for them?
6. If the girl just assigned to be “friends” with your child rolls her eyes and sighs as she drags her feet over to where your child is standing, is it proper etiquette to turn to the teacher in charge and say, “Could you please find a new ‘friend’ for my child because this one seems defective?”
7. How can new people give clues to the regular attenders of a bigger church that they are new and would like somone to come up and start up a conversation short of stepping right in front of their path (or tripping them), smiling widely as you hold out their hand and say “Hi. My name is ______. I am new here What is your name?”. Apparently making eye contact and smiling isn’t enough these days. More people than I care to admit have looked me in the eye, smiled and walked right past me without saying a word. Today, I tried holding the special gift bag that I received as part of being a first time visitor VERY prominently so that someone would notice and maybe come over and start a conversation. It didn’t work. At my grandmother’s church, when you sign in as a visitor, they put a little sticker on your clothes so that people can tell the difference between the regular attenders they don’t know and visitors. Many people have come up and spoken with me without my grandmother dragging me over to them. I call this the “tag-and-bag” technique. I have visited other churches in the distant past where the regular members wear name tags which simultaneously let them know that you are new and let you know who they are so you can go up and say “Hi Bob! My name is _____ and this is the first time here.” To which Bob would reply “I know, because you aren’t wearing a nifty name tag like me. Welcome! How are you?...” I call this “The Country Club” approach. Both are ways of making someone feel welcome, if maybe a little conspicuous. However, none of the churches I have attended have implemented either of these techniques. I am thinking about making shirts emblazoned with the following sentence on the back in 50 point font: “Hello. My name is ______. I’m a first time visitor. Please show God’s love for me by saying ‘hello’ and starting up a conversation.” I have Hallmark Card Studio AND iron on T-shirt paper, so it can be done! I know what you are thinking, that maybe we should try to attend smaller churches because they are most likely to notice new people (like our old church, sniffle). We are trying to find them, but I think that in our area of the country, all of the small churches have been swallowed up by the bigger ones.
8. Is it REALLY okay to let the offering plate pass you by as first time visitors? That is the philosophy that our old church espouses. First time visitors are guests and don’t need to contribute to the church. That is the regular member’s joy. Sometimes it does feel weird to let the plate pass and I wonder if the people surrounding us know that we are visitors or just think we are welching on our commitment to the Lord?
9. If I don’t intend to return to the church and they have given me a “goodie bag” for being a first time visitor, should I return the bag or consider it as payment for making it through the service?
10. What has happened to the “Before you sit down, why don’t you turn to greet your neighbor.”? I thought that was standard church reptoire, but I guess in my new ‘hood, the churches haven’t heard of this “new” way to welcome people. Or maybe their time schedule doesn’t allow for it because they have to get the first group out the door in time to prepare for the second group. The “greet” system may sound corny, but it is a way to ensure that someone new will have someone say “hello” to them and acknowledge their existence sometime between entering the chapel and leaving it. As an added bonus, it ensures that the regular members talk to someone else at least once during the service ;-).

If anyone has advice for me other than "let it go and keep searching for the church that God has divinely appointed for you.", I would welcome it. We actually have been attending a small church plant meeting in the evenings that has possibilites. At least most people say more than 'hi' to us and the kids have become very friendly with our kids. That is a big plus. If you read this and are a praying person, please pray that God will either give us the green light with this church or help us find His divine appointment soon.

And if you are a member of a church, whether it be big or small, please make sure you seek out people you don't recognize and say "hi" to them on the off chance that they are visiting for the first time.

Thanks

May 18, 2009

Elizabeth's sestina

Background: This is the sestina that Elizabeth has been writing for the past week. I will warn you, though, it is morbid. Before you all tell me to take her to psychiatrist, please keep in mind that in the last month, she has experienced the following:
1. She has moved away from all the friends she has ever known.
2. Her great-grandmother, "Granny" Kloos, died recently. She and Jessi came with me when I visited Granny a few days before her death. Granny looked very different from the person she had seen a month earlier. She looked like she was close to death and didn't react much the whole time we were there. Two days before we started the trek to a new home/life, she attended Granny's funeral.
3. Charlotte is a guinea pig who died two years ago. When she died, we buried her in our garden in Grayslake, Illinois. She was very disappointed to know that we would not be bringing Charlotte's remains with us when we moved.
In summary, she has been dealing with a lot of loss and disappointment. She also chose words to use that can not help but create a morbid poem. Rest assured that if she continues talking about death and dying and grief six months from now, I might have her talk to a counselor, okay.

Charlotte’s Death

Our dear Charrlote was a gunea pig,
In our garden is where she lays.
We are very sad of her death.
Her sudden death left us in grief.
When we moved on, our hearts did weep.
Her death left us in sadness.

The rain washes away the sadness.
Her friend Sarah is also a gunea pig.
When we found Charrlote dead in her house, a long time we did weep.
We buried her in a garden near the front door, and that’s where she lays.
We do school to hide our grief,
We think Sarah grieves her death.

When I reach my death,
Our family will be encased in sadness.
They’ll do fun things to hide their grief,
But not like a gunea pig.
Charrlote’s in her grave, that’s where she lays.
When I am dead, my relatives will weep.

So when life is over, everyone will weep.
Death draws us to it, and we are drawn to death.
The dead man lays in his grave, that’s where he lays.
His reletives are clothed in sadness.
We are all like a gunea pig.
Everyone dies with grief.

In grief we die, in grief they die, everyone dies in grief.
In our life time, we will have to weep,
Even the gunea pig.
Everyone, everything, anything is doomed to death.
Everyone, everything is doomed to sadness.
In sadness we lay, in sadness they lay, in sadness everything lays!

Oh, she is dead, and there she lays!
Like all other people, we all die in grief.
And like all other people, we all die in sadness.
We weep when we die, like all other people we weep.
We fall into sadness, and into a trap, and the trap is death.
Pigs fall into the death trap, and so do every gunea pig.

In sadnness we live, in sadness we die, all around us sadness lays.
The gunea pig dies in grief.
In death we weep, and such a sweet sorrow is death.

May 16, 2009

Tom Thumb is not as easy as it looks

This morning, we all piled into the van to climb Pinnacle Peak. Unfortunately, the trail was closed on account of swarms of attacking bees (no, not the killer bees, just really irritated bees). However, the warden was very helpful and told us about another trail nearby that went up to the top of "Tom Thumb", a really cool rock formation. If you have watched Veggie Tales' "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: Movie", the area looks a little like the rock monster island with more sand poured over the rock formations. The boulders are all metamorphic rock (thanks H.A.M.I.C. geology studies!). To get to the start of Tom Thumb trail, you have to go on a dirt road, which reminded me of Kyle's newest song, "Rock and Roll on a Bad Road", beecause that is what we did. I think Eric had fun driving on it, though we had to be careful of washouts and huge dips that still caused us to bottom out a few times. The kids were great. At the beginning of the trail, John told a guy passing us, "I will never get tired." He changed his tune. Trail statistics: It took us 90 minutes to hike 2.6 miles with an elevation gain of 700 feet (thanks to Eric's GPS program on his phone). We saw lizards, a hummingbird (I think), lots of ants and lots of little flies that reminded me of the little flying bugs in "Cars". The flies were annoying, but at least they didn't bite--just tickle. The trail had places with loose gravel that made it tricky to go up and even trickier going down. On the way down, Elizabeth slipped and fell once, Jessi and Kyle each slipped and fell three times and John slipped and fell too many times to count (I think he liked it because Eric was holding his hand and didn't let him get hurt). John also confessed to getting tired at one point. We did not make it to the summit of Tom's Thumb. Our water was half gone, the kids were really tired, and a couple on their way back said that the trail got pretty steep near the end, which made us decide to turn around with Tom Thumb's peak in site.

The views were fabulous, both up close and panoramic. Unfortunately, we did not bring a camera, so we only took a couple of pictures with Eric's camera. All in all, it was a great adventure. Who needs to be in "The Amazing Race" when you can create your own road blocks :-).

May 11, 2009

A Moving Sestina

Background: Elizabeth and I are studying poetry. She has developed some haiku and mastered the limerick. She has memorized "The Rainy Day" by Henry Wadworth Longefellow. Recently, I found out that the Homeschool Legal Defense Association is sponsoring a poetry contest. It has to be a sestina poem based on a quote from Mark Twain. I'm not sure if she will enter the contest, but I thought it would be a good way to introduce another poetry form. If you don't know what a sestina is, go to http://www.baymoon.com/~ariadne/form/sestina.htm. She has started the first of seven stanzas today writing about her beloved dead guinea pig, Charolotte. When she finishes, I will post it. Because a teacher should lead by example, I have also written a sestina inspired by our move.

A Moving Sestina

My husband’s lost job forced us to move
Into a new state, a new climate, a new adventure.
But moving means friendships are broken
Our way of life must form a new pattern
Our way of thinking renewed.
A total re-boot

My atitude also needs a re-boot.
As God is prodding me to move.
So that I can be renewed,
Serving and worshipping in a new pattern.
As I allow my heart to be broken,
I feel adrift on the edge of adventure.

Flung into the abyss of adventure,
Ties of comfort have been broken.
New instructions to come after the re-boot.
God is on the move,
Weaving new people into my life’s pattern.
Uncharted relationships are being renewed.

My faith is being renewed
On God’s great plan of adventure.
To experience it, I must move.
Old cookies smashed in the re-boot.
Glorious light shines throughout the pattern
As stumbling blocks are being broken.

When comfort zones are broken,
Joi de vive can be renewed,
New growth results in a re-boot,
Hearts beat strong and fast during the adventure,
Beauty is found in a new pattern,
Peace and contentment are found in the move.

Good things come from a move.
We get to review our life in the re-boot.
Old friendships need not be broken
And in heaven, all friendships will be renewed
Wisdom and knowledge are expanded by adventure.
Flexibility comes with a new pattern.

I now relish my re-boot which brings with it adventure,
Experiencing God’s shuttle move into me a new pattern
Because some threads are broken, my tapestry of life is renewed.

May 8, 2009

Overtoom talent "show"

This blog is dedicated to my talented kids. Elizabeth managed to make "guitars" out of K'nex, complete with guitar straps and K'nex picks. This has encouraged "Song Night at the Overtoom Apartment." Elizabeth, Kyle and John make up their own lyrics while Jessi sings great old hymns. I have been able to capture E's and K's lyrics, but not John's.

Kyle has a pretty simple song. He chooses a sentence and sings it repeatedly but in a way that is fun and not too monotonous: "Rock and roll on the very bad road." He sings this with a fake British accent.

Elizabeth came up with a more extensive song she calls "Together"
Let's work together to get the job done
Let's play together everyone!
Fly like bird
but please don't get absurd.

Chorus:
When you see some one that's hurt,
help him; Say "Hey are you hurt?
Oh no! You broke your leg!
Let's get you to the hospital.
Let's work together.

If you want to help someone,
Say, "Hey, here's $5 for a gift.
"Hey, thank you!
Hey, I'll go to the zoo!
I have enough clothing,
I have enough food.
So, I'll go to the Zoo!

Chorus

Together! Together!
We worked together!
If we work together,
we'll get the job done extra fast
and relax.
Teamwork is great!
We worked together.

Chorus.

I hope you enjoy reading them as much as Eric and I have enjoyed listening to them.