December 13, 2012

Elizabeth's Pet Peeve

This is an assignment that Elizabeth was given as part of school.  I hope you enjoy it.

Prang! Splooch! Bang! In this particular moment, the sounds are coming from the back seat. Generated by my brothers, they have now become a regular part of my life. It's quite common for young boys to experience the “I-need-to-make-war-noises-because-I've-got-too-much-energy” stage. I ask them to stop, but they still go on and on in endless war. Even in the car, they don't stop. Parents and siblings: be warned, it can quickly become a pet peeve; It has for me.

One problem is that they spray spit all over you while making the sounds of battle. For boys who don't care for hygiene, this would not be a problem. But as a girl, I have a small problem with it (more of a ginormous, mountain-sized problem with it). Most boys might think I'm weird, but I think that all girls will agree with me that it's really gross to be spat on. Especially if the spit-generator has a cold.

Number two: they wander all over the house. You, dear Reader, might not think that it's a problem. You might think that it is a way to release their pent-up energy without breaking something. For my brothers, it doesn't really work. It only increases their energy.  In the middle of their imaginary war game, they don't see where they're going. Maybe its because they are too infatuated with getting to their goal. Maybe its because they imagine that the dining room table has become an obstacle into which they must crash their “sand-crawler”. Usually this results in pain-filled wailing. They also crash into people, which is also unpleasant. 'What could be worse then hearing your brother cry?' you might ask. I would reply: hearing both brothers cry because they crashed into each other and bonked heads is worse. It's also unpleasant when a brother crashes into you, although that results in more yelling at him than crying on my part.

One of the biggest problems is that they don't stop when you ask them to stop, because they can't hear you over the sound of battle in their head. This creates all sorts of problems. They won't listen when parents are telling them what jobs they have to do, and they don't listen to the parent's when they say it's time for school. They get in trouble at other times, like when they're attending their art class. They can't hear the instructor's lessons in art.

Here's a problem for the parents and teachers. These warrior sound machines disrupt school atmosphere. That might not be a problem in public school. Teachers might just sent them to the principals office or the psychiatrist. This will embarrass the parents, as they will remember it always. The hazard of it is that if the parents remember this, they will tell your friends at awkward moments. O, the horror! But the problem I'm talking about is for the home schooling families. If you are not a homeschooling parent, then skip to the next paragraph. I myself am being home schooled. A war-noise person home schooled with his other siblings is a bad combination. Especially if he has siblings older than him who have more work (like this writing assignment, perhaps). When the young warrior starts his imaginary battle, he can also start a real battle; A battle between him and his older sibling. A typical feud will start like this:
Sibling: “Please stop making those war noises. They're distracting me and giving me a headache.”
Brother/Warrior: “prang!!! Colonel, the mast has been hit! Prepare to be boarded! Pshew! Pshew!
Sibling: “I asked you to stop!!”
Then one of two things will happen. Either the war will increase in volume and ferocity to levels man never has and will never want to see, or a parent will intervene and hand out punishments without mercy.

Maybe later, if I ever find a cure for boys making war noises, I'll write a book on it to help others with this immense problem. Maybe you'll be the one to find it. Maybe doctors and psychiatrists working together will find the cure. I don't know if a cure is even possible. Until we find it, we will just have to live with them, and hope they grow out of it- quickly.


Adrienne said...

This is awesome! So well written :)

Jane Hoppe said...

Bravo! Well said.

justkt said...

Great Job Elz!