"Different Like Me"

People are people.  That is one message that God has been drilling into me over the past two years.  We try to throw up walls like cultural differences, different tastes in music, food, art, politics and religion.  But if you sit down for a REAL conversation, where you REALLY listen, you find someone just like yourself, with worries, hopes, disappointments and victories.  And I love listening to stories and seeing the similarities.

I guess God has been showing that to my kids, too.  He started when He had us take in a gentleman from our church who was down on his luck.  He had some health issues, he looked funny, he talked funny, and he would never be considered as a contestant on Jeopardy.  It took our kids a little bit to get used to him.  At the end of the time, my oldest daughter commented that she was glad he had stayed with us because she realized that people who look different aren't really all that different.  Score one for God.

Last week, we took half a day to take advantage of discount tickets at a mall-based aquarium with a few other families.  One of the families has a son with Down's Syndrome.  Last year, she and her husband had decided that public school would be a better option for him and had such a horrible experience with the public school, they pulled him out again.  I had met him once and would consider him relatively high functioning.  His speech is affected a little, but in the short class we all had signed up to take, he kept himself fairly quiet and unobtrusive with just a little bit of help from a friend and his mother.  My oldest daughter had a blast with him after the class and she treated him as she would any other child.  As we were getting ready to leave, the boys mother pulled me aside and told me she had to talk to me.  She told me that she was thanking my daughter for how kindly she treated her son and my daughter's response was something like, "I like him because he is different, just like me."  It had blown her away, and me, too, with gratitude for her perspective.

For those of you who have never met her, she doesn't have Down's Syndrome or any other handicap.  No one would notice her passing her in the street.  Unless she was mugging with one of her overdramatic expressions.  Or using her Smeagol voice.  Or trying out one of her  new voices, which sounds like a squeaky door.  Or talking Gandalf style, which inevitably involves the phrase "You!  Shall!  Not!  Pass!!!!"  That is how she is different and she recognizes that she is different.   So all she sees in this little boy with Down's Syndrome is a boy who is different like her from "the crowd"  but not in the same way as she is different.  And she revels in those differences.  This was one of my earliest goals in homeschooling, to let them be who God made them to be without feeling as if they were weird or stupid, which is the social lessons a lot of kids receive in public schools.  And God is gracious to answer my prayers at least for one child that He has helped me train.  I pray that this quality has been ingrained in her so deeply that the world and its influence will never drive it out and that she will know that people are people, created in God's image and loved by Him more than they can imagine.

Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  Colossians 3:11-13

Three Magic Words

Today, my family and I went on a trek to see the two grandmas,one in a Senior facility who can still play cards and tell jokes and another, my Nana, who is slowly being eaten away by alzheimer's in a nursing home.  I saw Nana first and this is about our time together.

A long time ago, I stopped looking for the Nana I remember from childhood, or even from the Nana I remember from ten years ago, when her green-gray eyes still twinkled with mischief and laughter and her high, well-defined cheekbones still held more than a hint of the beauty that she was as a younger wife and mother;  when she could follow conversations and make complete sentences.  Now, I look for a stooped woman in a wheelchair with a flurry of frail, pure white hair, sunken eyes that are growing hazy with age and skin that seems papery thin.  Today, she was in the common room, where the TV is, snoozing in her wheelchair with oxygen pumped in her nose.  I touched her arm and called her name.  She stirred, glanced at me, and closed her eyes again.  I pulled up a chair and started stroking her her arm, calling her name again. Her eyelids remained closed.  I walked over to the nurses and asked if she had taken a turn for the worse.   Gravely, they all nodded affirmations.  However, they also encouraged me to stay by her side and hold her hand and just be satisfied with being with her.  So I steeled myself to spend the next 30 minutes or so just holding her hand and seeing if she would respond to my small, gentle acts of love.  I sat down stroked her hand and said the magic words:  "Nana, I love you!"

Her eyes popped open and she looked at me with renewed interest and almost seemed to recognize me.  Her mouth reformed into a big wide grin, not quite the same as twenty years ago, but almost familiar.  It started a whole long "conversation" between us, two old friends, two co-conspirators, two travelers of memory lane.  She would "talk", which really was more similar to baby sounds than anything else, and I would almost understand her at times.  I would tell her my stories and then we would share stories of our trip to California, her camping as a young girl with her parents, the times we would pretend to be police officers (CHiPs with chicks).  Every once in a while, she would laugh the laugh that I remembered hearing and couldn't help but laugh with her from the joy of hearing it, even though I had no idea what she had just told me.  I told her about my kids and showed her the washcloth I was knitting, though I assured her that it wasn't as beautiful as the things she had knit for me.  I told her about saving the dresses she had made for me for my daughters, when they got older.  When I showed her pictures of my kids and told her that they were her great-grandchildren, she made a snort and seemed to say "I'm not THAT old!"  She never did like the idea of being old enough to be a great-grandmother, though she loved her great grandchildren as much as she loved her grandchildren and her children.  I told her that she was a wonderful grandmother and gave her a kiss and a hug.  Our time was almost over.  My husband and the kids were waiting outside in the parking lot.  She didn't seem to mind that I was leaving, or maybe didn't understand.  I gave her final kisses and hugs and left.

I feel blessed to still be able to spend time with her and know that there is still small part of the Nana I knew that is awake and alive.  And if there comes a time when those three magic words no longer have meaning to her, then I will be content sitting silently with her, holding her hand and showing her a small part of the love she has shown me over the years.

Convicted. Repentant. Forgiven

Somewhere, we acquired a book called From God To You, 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crab.  It basically summarizes each book of the Bible in an imaginary conversation between the author and God.  In history, we are studying the Kingdom of Israel and so the Bible is one of the source documents.  This week, we were studying Solomon's reign, which is covered in 1 Kings.  Today I picked up the book to get Dr. Crab's perspective and became convicted by the following passages which is his interpretation of God's message for us from this book:

Your desire to be effective, to depend on biblical principles for success in your family, church, career, and friendships, is legitimately strong.  But when that desire is stronger than your desire to be holy and to depend on My power for becoming more like My Son, whether you succeed or fail in other ways, then you will not always advance My plan, no matter how carefully you follow My principles or how much apparent success you enjoy.  And you'll be especially vulnerable to serious sin.

Later on, he writes embellishment from God's perspective in case I don't understand or purposely misunderstand what He is saying:

When efficient management, especially when you're good at it, trumps holy living, the lack of holiness is either not recognized or is not seen as a terribly serious problem....But the center of My plan has nothing to do with well-managed families, ministries, or careers.  When the center of My plan is not the center of your hope, your interior world is unstable, and your soul is weakened.

Busted. And I am without excuse, because the Bible has always pointed to God's power, God's grace, God's plan.  It has never been and shouldn't ever be about me and how well I manage.  The fruit of the Spirit is joy as well as self control and other qualities.  The fruit of my spirit never can achieve these qualities.  That is why the joy of the Lord is my strength--my joy in His plan for me, which might look like disaster and failure to the world, but, because it is pleasing to Him, is glorious in His eyes.

But the most wonderful news is that God doesn't convict us to condemn us.  He wakes us up to our pitiful, blind state so that He can lead us to repentance and forgive us, wiping our ledger clean with the blood of Jesus and leading us back to seeing His plan and following it.

Please God, open my eyes to your plan for me and how you want me to minister to my family, my friends, and my community.  Remove my focus from "the process" and keep them fixed on You, the Author and Perfecter of my faith and on the joy in following Your plan.

The Rocks of Arizona

The picture at the top was taken several years ago in the Chicago-ish area of Illinois.   Nearly four years ago, we moved to Arizona, which has a markedly different vista.  If you like rocks, Arizona IS the place to be.  Some rocks, like the canyon lands, are beautiful.  If Arizona was a house, these would be the formal living room and dining room, where all the owner's taste and best pieces are placed and which are reserved for company, rather than everyday use.  Most of these pictures were taken by my husband, by the way, who is a far superior photographer than I am.

The Grand Canyon--North Rim, with the South Rim in the background

The Grand Canyon at Sunset from the Grand Canyon Lodge

Sedona

Phoenix is surrounded and spattered with all sorts of mountains, most of them in the "little, cute" variety--"montanitas" (Spanish for "little mountains).  If the canyonlands are the living room, these mountains are the spare bedroom or the attic or unfinished basement, where you put all the stuff you don't know what to do with, or where you throw all of your stuff when you don't have a lot of time to pick up the house for company.  The pictures below were taken from a New Year's Day hike at Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale, AZ.

Could someone get a broom and sweep up all of these crumbs?

My hubby with the pinnacle behind him.  Doesn't it look like someone dumped a bunch of boulders, like kids dump all the LEGOs on the floor to find the exact piece they need for their creation?

Some houses and more peaks on the outskirts of Scottsdale. Tom Thumb peak is on of the little spikes. What a mess!

A stone junkyard

Of course, whenever we would pick a day to clean up the spare room/attic/basement, we would always find a treasure trove of pictures, old toys, long forgotten school assignments and other items that would bring back wonderful memories and create great stories for our family.  The stones scattered around the mountains, creating such a disheveled appearance also seem to tell great stories when you see them up close.  It almost makes you think that God carved them and placed them exactly where He wanted you to find them to tell you a story.  These pictures were taken on my iPhone:

Two rocks "kissing"

The rock on the far right reminded me first of  Darth Vader,  then Boba Fett 

This one reminded me of the troll dolls of my youth, the kind with the wild, bright hair. There is even an "eye" and "mouth."  Coincidence, design or my imagination?

Do you see a finger-shaped rock?  It is pointing to its designer (God).

So even though I would never classify Phoenix as the prettiest spot in Arizona, it certainly has character and even in the mess of the city and scattered montanitos, and the mass of humanity with all of its warts and scars marring its beauty, God reveals himself, His story, and His sense of humor.

When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” 

Luke 19: 37-40

Pinned!

I have been assimilated...into Pinterest.  Resistance is futile.  And I have made my first pins.  The one below was inspired by at least two of my kids who will not be named.  My husband thought I should add something about there being consequences to "do not", but really, there are consequences regardless of whether we do or do not.  Kids generally like the consequences from "do" better than "do not."  I also have a variation for whining.  I made this using Hallmark Card Studio.

Source: Uploaded by user via Kristina on Pinterest

Strength in Joy

I talked about being courageous and brave this year in the last post.  However, that is not really my focus this year.  The idea for my focus was percolating sometime after Thanksgiving, but was given a big boost by Matt at The Church of No People, who shared the concept from  OneWord365.  The concept is to focus on one thing for the year and one thing only.  My one thing to focus on is joy.

It's not that I am not happy or thankful for the life God has for me.  But happy and thankful are not the same thing as joy.  And sometimes, I confess that I can be downright begrudging at what He has me do when it looks like a sloppy mess or when His plan for accomplishing His job for me looks nothing like my plan.  What I want is the joy that is found in the Bible:

• Nehemiah 8:10b--"And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
• 1 Chronicles 16:27--"Splendor and majesty are before Him (God); strength and joy in his dwelling place."
• Psalm 16:11--"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence..."
• Psalm 94:19--"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
• John 15:10-11--"If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
• Luke 6:22-23--"Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man.  Rejoice on that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven."
• Galatians 5:22-23--"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control.  Against such things there is no law.

And interestingly enough, there are some blatant links between strength and joy in some of these verses.  

The first application of finding joy I will be working on involves weight loss.  I started losing weight last year when my fabulous SIL (all of them are fabulous, by the way), challenged me to "The Game-On Diet", which turns losing weight into a game. I lost 20 pounds, and then took a four month sabbatical, in which I maintained the weight I lost until the last two holidays.  I only crept back a little bit, but it was enough to motivate me to get back in the game.  So I am back at it, this time playing the game solo with my family as my support.  And my goal in this is to have joy, not just in the decreasing numbers, but in saying "no" to all the sweets that my sweet tusk desires, being hungry, working out, and making good food choices.  I have changed it around a little bit.  If I lose the minimum weight (1%) and make a minimum of points at the end of the week, each of my family members takes a turn rewarding me in some way.  When I told my oldest that it would be her turn to reward me this week, she immediately offered to pay  my way to see "The Hobbit-3D" with me even though we have already seen the movie.  Her extravagent gift (though not totally altruistic, since she has been asking to see it again) totally floored me and gave me HUGE incentive.  It looks like she and I will be having a movie date tomorrow. 

And of course, the purpose in finding this joy is to pass it on.

Hebrews 12:2a

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, who, for the joy set before him endured the cross...

Happy New Year Thoughts

Isaiah 57:15-16, 18-19
For this is what the high and lofty One says—
    he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
    but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
    and to revive the heart of the contrite.
I will not accuse forever,
    nor will I always be angry,
for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me—

•     the breath of man that I have created.

I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;
    I will guide him and restore comfort to him,
¹⁹     creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel.
Peace, peace, to those far and near,”
    says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

In a world that seems to be increasingly angry, violent, vulgar and lacking in all restraint, these words bring me comfort and and a great reminder for me to  be humble.  It is also a reminder that God intimately knows my ways, and in spite of the good, the bad and the ugly, chooses to heal me and bring me peace.  

The last week before Christmas, the kids and I studied a part of history when the nation of Isreal enters a new country that God had promised them with a new, untested leader, Joshua.  Before they even start the daunting process of crossing the Jordan at flood stage and attacking people who had scared their parents faithless forty years earlier, God gives Joshua a pep talk:

• As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1:5)
• The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
• Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all Israel, so they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses (Joshua 3:7)
• Be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6, 9)
• Be strong and very courageous. (Joshua 1:7)
• Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged (Joshua 1:9)

I think this is especially appropriate to remember that God gave Joshua a God-sized job, told Joshua to rely on Him and that He would take care of the details.  Joshua was faithful to God in almost everything and God fulfilled every promise He made.  Here is another quote, this time from 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb about the central theme in the book of Joshua:

"It is a call to fight. Loving Me and becoming holy requires that you realize there is an enemy within you who will cause you more trouble than all the enemies outside you, than even the devil.  I want you to fight, but I want you to fight the right battle...Loving Me and being faithful to My plan requires hating everything in you that is opposed to Me, everything about you that wants someone or something besides Me to have first place in your life.  You'll need help discerning what that is."  (The italics and boldface font is copied from the book.)

So, this year, I will be strong and courageous, even with the looming fiscal cliffs, the dairy cliffs, the prospect of the country collapsing under the weight of the federal deficit, the prospect of government trying to control our everyday lives, the prospect of nations who want to destroy America having nuclear weapons or carrying our IOU's.  I will not be terrified nor will I be discouraged because I place my hope in God's infinitely loving, powerful, and omniscient hands, knowing that He will carry my through whatever He has planned until He completely heals me and brings me home to Him.  Hallelujah!