This post is a result of several memes and conversations involving forgiveness.
The goal of relationships is to keep building upon them, whether family or friends, because Jesus told us that our #2 job as humans is to love our neighbor as ourselves. But everyone is full of sin and so there are times when relationships are broken by selfishness. When something happens, confession (acknowledging your sin/mistakes), repentance (a desire and effort made to change your behavior), and forgiveness can repair the damage and restore the relationship. Jesus commands us to forgive others because, through his sacrifice, God forgives us our sins and he tells a story to demonstrate how seriously God is about requiring us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Here is a really funny video that tells Jesus' story:
However, I don't think that forgiveness always leads to restoration of the relationship, or at least not immediate restoration. Some hurts are deeper than others and need more work from God to heal. Some relationships are unhealthy because one person is a user or a bully and either they don't see it or they are unapologetic, which is functional unrepentance. They are not safe people.
I had to drop a friendship this week that had started in the summer because the person revealed herself to be a bully who wouldn't listen. The start of the conflict did involve me--I was a guilty party; however, I acknowledged my poor behavior to her, apologized to her, told her I would change and made the changes. I did all I could to restore peace and the relationship. Her subsequent actions toward me, all antagonistic, demonstrated that she hadn't forgiven me. As a result, the relationship was broken. Each time she was unkind, the Holy Spirit gave me the strength to live out Ephesians 4:31-32 and forgive her unkind words and deeds because there was going to be a day when we had to work together. The day arrived. God blessed me with the ability to see the humor in the situation and gave me His love for her so that I was able to make peace overtures to her. She responded with appreciation. A couple more phone calls followed and she seemed to welcome the chance to talk about what happened. I desired to meet with her in person and made a phone call to set up a time and place. The phone conversation became troubling. Instead of respecting my request to have the conversation in person, she started throwing accusations at me, for which I had already offered an apology. The few minutes I was able to speak and give her my perspective, she responded with justifications for her actions and followed up with a renewed attack on me. She demonstrated that she was unwilling to listen to or acknowledge the role she played in the conflict and in turning a resolvable issue into a raging inferno that burned everyone involved. My trust in her, which was already waning because of the past problems absolutely disintegrated.
So I am in the process of forgiving her for stuff said in this conversation, and forgiving her again of her past hurts, which were resurrected as a result of the conversation. I forgive her even though she is unrepentant, because I know that by releasing her into God's hands, I am freeing myself from her influence and can receive God's peace. And because I want grow up to be just like my Heavenly Daddy, who is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
But in this case, restoration is not likely to happen. The consequences of her behavior and attitude is that I have no desire to speak to her and she lives far enough away that it is possible to successfully avoid each other. I am grieving, as much for the end of this relationship as for the fact that it will likely also affect our daughters, who became good friends over the past nine months. Before I came to this conclusion, I did pray about it, because I know how much importance He places on relationships. He reminded me that at the cross Jesus forgave his enemies because he knew they were blind, pitiful fools, but when he rose again, there is no Biblical record that he visited the people who had called for his crucifixion. And yet, I also know that with God, anything is possible, and if he can bring a dead man back to life, he can resurrect a dead relationship. I am leaving it in His capable hands.
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
4 Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.
--Isaiah 26:3-4
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
January 16, 2015
February 18, 2013
"Different Like Me"
People are people. That is one message that God has been drilling into me over the past two years. We try to throw up walls like cultural differences, different tastes in music, food, art, politics and religion. But if you sit down for a REAL conversation, where you REALLY listen, you find someone just like yourself, with worries, hopes, disappointments and victories. And I love listening to stories and seeing the similarities.
I guess God has been showing that to my kids, too. He started when He had us take in a gentleman from our church who was down on his luck. He had some health issues, he looked funny, he talked funny, and he would never be considered as a contestant on Jeopardy. It took our kids a little bit to get used to him. At the end of the time, my oldest daughter commented that she was glad he had stayed with us because she realized that people who look different aren't really all that different. Score one for God.
Last week, we took half a day to take advantage of discount tickets at a mall-based aquarium with a few other families. One of the families has a son with Down's Syndrome. Last year, she and her husband had decided that public school would be a better option for him and had such a horrible experience with the public school, they pulled him out again. I had met him once and would consider him relatively high functioning. His speech is affected a little, but in the short class we all had signed up to take, he kept himself fairly quiet and unobtrusive with just a little bit of help from a friend and his mother. My oldest daughter had a blast with him after the class and she treated him as she would any other child. As we were getting ready to leave, the boys mother pulled me aside and told me she had to talk to me. She told me that she was thanking my daughter for how kindly she treated her son and my daughter's response was something like, "I like him because he is different, just like me." It had blown her away, and me, too, with gratitude for her perspective.
For those of you who have never met her, she doesn't have Down's Syndrome or any other handicap. No one would notice her passing her in the street. Unless she was mugging with one of her overdramatic expressions. Or using her Smeagol voice. Or trying out one of her new voices, which sounds like a squeaky door. Or talking Gandalf style, which inevitably involves the phrase "You! Shall! Not! Pass!!!!" That is how she is different and she recognizes that she is different. So all she sees in this little boy with Down's Syndrome is a boy who is different like her from "the crowd" but not in the same way as she is different. And she revels in those differences. This was one of my earliest goals in homeschooling, to let them be who God made them to be without feeling as if they were weird or stupid, which is the social lessons a lot of kids receive in public schools. And God is gracious to answer my prayers at least for one child that He has helped me train. I pray that this quality has been ingrained in her so deeply that the world and its influence will never drive it out and that she will know that people are people, created in God's image and loved by Him more than they can imagine.
I guess God has been showing that to my kids, too. He started when He had us take in a gentleman from our church who was down on his luck. He had some health issues, he looked funny, he talked funny, and he would never be considered as a contestant on Jeopardy. It took our kids a little bit to get used to him. At the end of the time, my oldest daughter commented that she was glad he had stayed with us because she realized that people who look different aren't really all that different. Score one for God.
Last week, we took half a day to take advantage of discount tickets at a mall-based aquarium with a few other families. One of the families has a son with Down's Syndrome. Last year, she and her husband had decided that public school would be a better option for him and had such a horrible experience with the public school, they pulled him out again. I had met him once and would consider him relatively high functioning. His speech is affected a little, but in the short class we all had signed up to take, he kept himself fairly quiet and unobtrusive with just a little bit of help from a friend and his mother. My oldest daughter had a blast with him after the class and she treated him as she would any other child. As we were getting ready to leave, the boys mother pulled me aside and told me she had to talk to me. She told me that she was thanking my daughter for how kindly she treated her son and my daughter's response was something like, "I like him because he is different, just like me." It had blown her away, and me, too, with gratitude for her perspective.
For those of you who have never met her, she doesn't have Down's Syndrome or any other handicap. No one would notice her passing her in the street. Unless she was mugging with one of her overdramatic expressions. Or using her Smeagol voice. Or trying out one of her new voices, which sounds like a squeaky door. Or talking Gandalf style, which inevitably involves the phrase "You! Shall! Not! Pass!!!!" That is how she is different and she recognizes that she is different. So all she sees in this little boy with Down's Syndrome is a boy who is different like her from "the crowd" but not in the same way as she is different. And she revels in those differences. This was one of my earliest goals in homeschooling, to let them be who God made them to be without feeling as if they were weird or stupid, which is the social lessons a lot of kids receive in public schools. And God is gracious to answer my prayers at least for one child that He has helped me train. I pray that this quality has been ingrained in her so deeply that the world and its influence will never drive it out and that she will know that people are people, created in God's image and loved by Him more than they can imagine.
Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:11-13
February 1, 2013
Convicted. Repentant. Forgiven
Somewhere, we acquired a book called From God To You, 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crab. It basically summarizes each book of the Bible in an imaginary conversation between the author and God. In history, we are studying the Kingdom of Israel and so the Bible is one of the source documents. This week, we were studying Solomon's reign, which is covered in 1 Kings. Today I picked up the book to get Dr. Crab's perspective and became convicted by the following passages which is his interpretation of God's message for us from this book:
Your desire to be effective, to depend on biblical principles for success in your family, church, career, and friendships, is legitimately strong. But when that desire is stronger than your desire to be holy and to depend on My power for becoming more like My Son, whether you succeed or fail in other ways, then you will not always advance My plan, no matter how carefully you follow My principles or how much apparent success you enjoy. And you'll be especially vulnerable to serious sin.
Later on, he writes embellishment from God's perspective in case I don't understand or purposely misunderstand what He is saying:
When efficient management, especially when you're good at it, trumps holy living, the lack of holiness is either not recognized or is not seen as a terribly serious problem....But the center of My plan has nothing to do with well-managed families, ministries, or careers. When the center of My plan is not the center of your hope, your interior world is unstable, and your soul is weakened.
Busted. And I am without excuse, because the Bible has always pointed to God's power, God's grace, God's plan. It has never been and shouldn't ever be about me and how well I manage. The fruit of the Spirit is joy as well as self control and other qualities. The fruit of my spirit never can achieve these qualities. That is why the joy of the Lord is my strength--my joy in His plan for me, which might look like disaster and failure to the world, but, because it is pleasing to Him, is glorious in His eyes.
But the most wonderful news is that God doesn't convict us to condemn us. He wakes us up to our pitiful, blind state so that He can lead us to repentance and forgive us, wiping our ledger clean with the blood of Jesus and leading us back to seeing His plan and following it.
Please God, open my eyes to your plan for me and how you want me to minister to my family, my friends, and my community. Remove my focus from "the process" and keep them fixed on You, the Author and Perfecter of my faith and on the joy in following Your plan.
Your desire to be effective, to depend on biblical principles for success in your family, church, career, and friendships, is legitimately strong. But when that desire is stronger than your desire to be holy and to depend on My power for becoming more like My Son, whether you succeed or fail in other ways, then you will not always advance My plan, no matter how carefully you follow My principles or how much apparent success you enjoy. And you'll be especially vulnerable to serious sin.
Later on, he writes embellishment from God's perspective in case I don't understand or purposely misunderstand what He is saying:
When efficient management, especially when you're good at it, trumps holy living, the lack of holiness is either not recognized or is not seen as a terribly serious problem....But the center of My plan has nothing to do with well-managed families, ministries, or careers. When the center of My plan is not the center of your hope, your interior world is unstable, and your soul is weakened.
Busted. And I am without excuse, because the Bible has always pointed to God's power, God's grace, God's plan. It has never been and shouldn't ever be about me and how well I manage. The fruit of the Spirit is joy as well as self control and other qualities. The fruit of my spirit never can achieve these qualities. That is why the joy of the Lord is my strength--my joy in His plan for me, which might look like disaster and failure to the world, but, because it is pleasing to Him, is glorious in His eyes.
But the most wonderful news is that God doesn't convict us to condemn us. He wakes us up to our pitiful, blind state so that He can lead us to repentance and forgive us, wiping our ledger clean with the blood of Jesus and leading us back to seeing His plan and following it.
Please God, open my eyes to your plan for me and how you want me to minister to my family, my friends, and my community. Remove my focus from "the process" and keep them fixed on You, the Author and Perfecter of my faith and on the joy in following Your plan.
January 9, 2013
Strength in Joy
I talked about being courageous and brave this year in the last post. However, that is not really my focus this year. The idea for my focus was percolating sometime after Thanksgiving, but was given a big boost by Matt at The Church of No People, who shared the concept from OneWord365. The concept is to focus on one thing for the year and one thing only. My one thing to focus on is joy.
It's not that I am not happy or thankful for the life God has for me. But happy and thankful are not the same thing as joy. And sometimes, I confess that I can be downright begrudging at what He has me do when it looks like a sloppy mess or when His plan for accomplishing His job for me looks nothing like my plan. What I want is the joy that is found in the Bible:
- Nehemiah 8:10b--"And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
- 1 Chronicles 16:27--"Splendor and majesty are before Him (God); strength and joy in his dwelling place."
- Psalm 16:11--"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence..."
- Psalm 94:19--"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
- John 15:10-11--"If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
- Luke 6:22-23--"Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man. Rejoice on that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven."
- Galatians 5:22-23--"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. Against such things there is no law.
And interestingly enough, there are some blatant links between strength and joy in some of these verses.
The first application of finding joy I will be working on involves weight loss. I started losing weight last year when my fabulous SIL (all of them are fabulous, by the way), challenged me to "The Game-On Diet", which turns losing weight into a game. I lost 20 pounds, and then took a four month sabbatical, in which I maintained the weight I lost until the last two holidays. I only crept back a little bit, but it was enough to motivate me to get back in the game. So I am back at it, this time playing the game solo with my family as my support. And my goal in this is to have joy, not just in the decreasing numbers, but in saying "no" to all the sweets that my sweet tusk desires, being hungry, working out, and making good food choices. I have changed it around a little bit. If I lose the minimum weight (1%) and make a minimum of points at the end of the week, each of my family members takes a turn rewarding me in some way. When I told my oldest that it would be her turn to reward me this week, she immediately offered to pay my way to see "The Hobbit-3D" with me even though we have already seen the movie. Her extravagent gift (though not totally altruistic, since she has been asking to see it again) totally floored me and gave me HUGE incentive. It looks like she and I will be having a movie date tomorrow.
And of course, the purpose in finding this joy is to pass it on.
And of course, the purpose in finding this joy is to pass it on.
Hebrews 12:2a
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith, who, for the joy set before him endured the cross...
January 1, 2013
Happy New Year Thoughts
Isaiah 57:15-16, 18-19
For this is what the high and lofty One says—
he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.
I will not accuse forever,
nor will I always be angry,
for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me—
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;
I will guide him and restore comfort to him,
19 creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel.
Peace, peace, to those far and near,”
says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”
In a world that seems to be increasingly angry, violent, vulgar and lacking in all restraint, these words bring me comfort and and a great reminder for me to be humble. It is also a reminder that God intimately knows my ways, and in spite of the good, the bad and the ugly, chooses to heal me and bring me peace.
The last week before Christmas, the kids and I studied a part of history when the nation of Isreal enters a new country that God had promised them with a new, untested leader, Joshua. Before they even start the daunting process of crossing the Jordan at flood stage and attacking people who had scared their parents faithless forty years earlier, God gives Joshua a pep talk:
So, this year, I will be strong and courageous, even with the looming fiscal cliffs, the dairy cliffs, the prospect of the country collapsing under the weight of the federal deficit, the prospect of government trying to control our everyday lives, the prospect of nations who want to destroy America having nuclear weapons or carrying our IOU's. I will not be terrified nor will I be discouraged because I place my hope in God's infinitely loving, powerful, and omniscient hands, knowing that He will carry my through whatever He has planned until He completely heals me and brings me home to Him. Hallelujah!
For this is what the high and lofty One says—
he who lives forever, whose name is holy:
“I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.
I will not accuse forever,
nor will I always be angry,
for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me—
- the breath of man that I have created.
I have seen his ways, but I will heal him;
I will guide him and restore comfort to him,
19 creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel.
Peace, peace, to those far and near,”
says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”
In a world that seems to be increasingly angry, violent, vulgar and lacking in all restraint, these words bring me comfort and and a great reminder for me to be humble. It is also a reminder that God intimately knows my ways, and in spite of the good, the bad and the ugly, chooses to heal me and bring me peace.
The last week before Christmas, the kids and I studied a part of history when the nation of Isreal enters a new country that God had promised them with a new, untested leader, Joshua. Before they even start the daunting process of crossing the Jordan at flood stage and attacking people who had scared their parents faithless forty years earlier, God gives Joshua a pep talk:
- As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1:5)
- The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
- Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all Israel, so they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses (Joshua 3:7)
- Be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6, 9)
- Be strong and very courageous. (Joshua 1:7)
- Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged (Joshua 1:9)
I think this is especially appropriate to remember that God gave Joshua a God-sized job, told Joshua to rely on Him and that He would take care of the details. Joshua was faithful to God in almost everything and God fulfilled every promise He made. Here is another quote, this time from 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb about the central theme in the book of Joshua:
"It is a call to fight. Loving Me and becoming holy requires that you realize there is an enemy within you who will cause you more trouble than all the enemies outside you, than even the devil. I want you to fight, but I want you to fight the right battle...Loving Me and being faithful to My plan requires hating everything in you that is opposed to Me, everything about you that wants someone or something besides Me to have first place in your life. You'll need help discerning what that is." (The italics and boldface font is copied from the book.)
So, this year, I will be strong and courageous, even with the looming fiscal cliffs, the dairy cliffs, the prospect of the country collapsing under the weight of the federal deficit, the prospect of government trying to control our everyday lives, the prospect of nations who want to destroy America having nuclear weapons or carrying our IOU's. I will not be terrified nor will I be discouraged because I place my hope in God's infinitely loving, powerful, and omniscient hands, knowing that He will carry my through whatever He has planned until He completely heals me and brings me home to Him. Hallelujah!
May 18, 2012
Who won that baseball game?
My son, Kyle loves to play baseball. He is currently playing in Little League on the Colorado Rockies team. This team has had so many come-from-behind victories, we have somewhat of a reputation. We are currently in the tournament, which means that the season continues until we lose two games or win the tournament. Winning the tournament is probably not going to happen because there is a truly phenomenal team that plays with precision and has soundly beaten us every time we have played them. Tonight, we played another really great team. Three weeks ago, they were unbeaten and had beaten us soundly in our first face-off. The second time, however, we tied them when our catcher tagged the winning runner stealing home for the final out. We celebrated. And then we won on our third face off. So we came into this game with essentially a stalemate.
Now one of the reasons I believe in God is because He sometimes talks to me, though not in a physical voice. Usually it is in little nudges of thoughts that I could never in a million years think of myself. Tonight, as I was driving Kyle to practice before the game, a thought entered my head to pray with Kyle over the game (I know, if I was a REALLY good Christian, I would have been praying before every game. I still need God's grace). We talked about who REALLY decides the outcomes of games--us or God? I told Kyle that I believed that it is God who ultimately determines the outcomes of games.
"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD."
Proverbs 16:33
So we prayed. We prayed that the boys would play their best, that they would be safe and that, whatever the outcome, they would be satisfied with how they played. Now I don't think God really cares about the outcome of any games, because they are so transitory and, in the grand scheme of things, inconsequential. However, I do believe that He loves to remind us that He is there for us in little things as well as the big things and to provide concrete memorials of times when He showed us His love or His power or His grace so that later, when we are in a time of doubt, we can remember His faithfulness at that one time and remember that...
"I the LORD do not change...." --Malachi 3:6a.
And now back to the game....
It is the top of the fifth inning. The Rockies start the fifth inning in the hole 5-10. They are up to bat first as the home team. Under normal circumstances, the most a team can score in the inning is six runs. The umpire has called "final inning," which sets the following rule into play: Teams play and score until three outs are made. We get four runs before a player gets a second out. The kids in our bullpen start chanting: "Two-out rally, here we go." Seriously, so many times, whether it is our team or the opposing team, all the runs seems to happen after that second out is made. And it happens now. A new pitcher walks four kids in a row, driving us one point ahead. Then the next batter hits one that bounces over the pitcher's head AND over the second baseman's head and rolls way out into center field. All four runners score. Yay! We have it! It is in the bag! Or so we think. One of the parents remembers a rule that the inning has to finish before time is called at two hours from start time. If the game is called in the middle of an inning, the score from the previous inning is what is used for the final game results. So even if we score more runs, if we can't get the other team out in time, they win 10-5. Isn't THAT a crummy rule? Yes, I knew you would agree with me. I was very vocal in decrying that rule. At this point, someone has told the coaches, so that the next batter is instructed to swing at all pitches to strike out as quickly as possible. The top of the inning is over with only three to five minutes before the game will be called and all of the hard work of our boys will come to nothing.
How often has an inning lasted only three minutes? Hardly ever. And the other team worked very hard to be as slow as possible until the umpire started calling them out. Totally forgetting the prayer I prayed in the van, I stomped over to my friend, whose son had won his game 30 minutes ago, fuming at such a stupid rule. I am in the middle of explaining it when our team makes its first out on a weak grounder to first base. The player hit the ball on the first pitch. Less than a minute later, our team caught a fly ball hit by the second batter for the second out. Everyone holds their breath. The third batter connected on his first swing and hit it to the second baseman, who made a gentle throw to the first basemen for the third out. Everyone on the Rockies jump to their feet in astonishment and joy. The "impossible" had happened! I started shaking and crying and felt pretty ashamed of myself for the little temper tantrum I demonstrated in front of everyone and my pitiful memory.
Once again, I don't think God really cared who won the game. I don't think our team is any more deserving of winning the game than the other team. However, am pretty sure that God did it because He loves to see the impossible happen because it builds up our faith. Why do I think that? He gave a woman her first child when she was 90+ years old (Genesis 18, 21); He defeated a city with high, strong walls by having His people walk around singing worship songs (Joshua 6); He had 300 soldiers whose qualifications were that they scooped water to drink it from a pond beat a much bigger, stronger army by breaking pots, lighting torches, blowing horns and shouting (Judges 7); Heck, one time, He didn't even let His people do anything--He just had the invading army somehow go off the deep end and kill one another (2 Chronicles 14); The Bible is full of stories of God making the impossible happen. And He is still at work, whether it is dropping money in people's lap or making a determined atheist like C.S. Lewis into one of His children and one of the greatest apologists of the 20th century or having a little league team in a desert city come from behind and win against huge odds. We see difficult situations and, in our lack of faith, keep saying "Impossible!" and God turns to us and says, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”--Matthew 19:26
To God alone be the glory!
Now one of the reasons I believe in God is because He sometimes talks to me, though not in a physical voice. Usually it is in little nudges of thoughts that I could never in a million years think of myself. Tonight, as I was driving Kyle to practice before the game, a thought entered my head to pray with Kyle over the game (I know, if I was a REALLY good Christian, I would have been praying before every game. I still need God's grace). We talked about who REALLY decides the outcomes of games--us or God? I told Kyle that I believed that it is God who ultimately determines the outcomes of games.
"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD."
Proverbs 16:33
So we prayed. We prayed that the boys would play their best, that they would be safe and that, whatever the outcome, they would be satisfied with how they played. Now I don't think God really cares about the outcome of any games, because they are so transitory and, in the grand scheme of things, inconsequential. However, I do believe that He loves to remind us that He is there for us in little things as well as the big things and to provide concrete memorials of times when He showed us His love or His power or His grace so that later, when we are in a time of doubt, we can remember His faithfulness at that one time and remember that...
"I the LORD do not change...." --Malachi 3:6a.
And now back to the game....
It is the top of the fifth inning. The Rockies start the fifth inning in the hole 5-10. They are up to bat first as the home team. Under normal circumstances, the most a team can score in the inning is six runs. The umpire has called "final inning," which sets the following rule into play: Teams play and score until three outs are made. We get four runs before a player gets a second out. The kids in our bullpen start chanting: "Two-out rally, here we go." Seriously, so many times, whether it is our team or the opposing team, all the runs seems to happen after that second out is made. And it happens now. A new pitcher walks four kids in a row, driving us one point ahead. Then the next batter hits one that bounces over the pitcher's head AND over the second baseman's head and rolls way out into center field. All four runners score. Yay! We have it! It is in the bag! Or so we think. One of the parents remembers a rule that the inning has to finish before time is called at two hours from start time. If the game is called in the middle of an inning, the score from the previous inning is what is used for the final game results. So even if we score more runs, if we can't get the other team out in time, they win 10-5. Isn't THAT a crummy rule? Yes, I knew you would agree with me. I was very vocal in decrying that rule. At this point, someone has told the coaches, so that the next batter is instructed to swing at all pitches to strike out as quickly as possible. The top of the inning is over with only three to five minutes before the game will be called and all of the hard work of our boys will come to nothing.
How often has an inning lasted only three minutes? Hardly ever. And the other team worked very hard to be as slow as possible until the umpire started calling them out. Totally forgetting the prayer I prayed in the van, I stomped over to my friend, whose son had won his game 30 minutes ago, fuming at such a stupid rule. I am in the middle of explaining it when our team makes its first out on a weak grounder to first base. The player hit the ball on the first pitch. Less than a minute later, our team caught a fly ball hit by the second batter for the second out. Everyone holds their breath. The third batter connected on his first swing and hit it to the second baseman, who made a gentle throw to the first basemen for the third out. Everyone on the Rockies jump to their feet in astonishment and joy. The "impossible" had happened! I started shaking and crying and felt pretty ashamed of myself for the little temper tantrum I demonstrated in front of everyone and my pitiful memory.
Once again, I don't think God really cared who won the game. I don't think our team is any more deserving of winning the game than the other team. However, am pretty sure that God did it because He loves to see the impossible happen because it builds up our faith. Why do I think that? He gave a woman her first child when she was 90+ years old (Genesis 18, 21); He defeated a city with high, strong walls by having His people walk around singing worship songs (Joshua 6); He had 300 soldiers whose qualifications were that they scooped water to drink it from a pond beat a much bigger, stronger army by breaking pots, lighting torches, blowing horns and shouting (Judges 7); Heck, one time, He didn't even let His people do anything--He just had the invading army somehow go off the deep end and kill one another (2 Chronicles 14); The Bible is full of stories of God making the impossible happen. And He is still at work, whether it is dropping money in people's lap or making a determined atheist like C.S. Lewis into one of His children and one of the greatest apologists of the 20th century or having a little league team in a desert city come from behind and win against huge odds. We see difficult situations and, in our lack of faith, keep saying "Impossible!" and God turns to us and says, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”--Matthew 19:26
To God alone be the glory!
October 17, 2010
To Know Your Name
I am providing a link to a song we sung today at church that really affected me. We have sung it before, but the words seemed more alive today, for some reason. It might have something to do with the fact that I have been reading Randy Alcorn's book, _Safely Home_.
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:14-21
P.S. Special thanks to my wonderful husband, who showed me how to embed a video into my blog. He is awesome!
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:14-21
P.S. Special thanks to my wonderful husband, who showed me how to embed a video into my blog. He is awesome!
September 28, 2010
Roots theme
Before I begin my little ramblings, I would like to point you to a wonderful blog posted by my friend, AquaJane. I enjoy her writing in general and her book, Beyond Betrayal, but this one especially hit my heart as have been struggling with trying to set up a permanent settlement in Arizona after being uprooted by my husband’s job change.
The roots theme has been running in my life for a while now. It started during the Winter/Spring of 2009 when I was working with some women to host a prayer seminar in our church. Most of my contribution was in praying with the women and giving a little bit of input, mainly because I felt like a lieutenant next to some four star general prayer warriors . One time, as we were praying, someone was reminded of a vision one of the women had our church being like prairie flowers that typically had their roots growing very deep beneath the earth’s surface as a representation of our church. As we were praying about that vision, I thought I heard God telling me that sometimes He removes healthy plants with deep roots to transplant in other areas. This came at a time when my husband had lost his job and there was a very real possibility that he would be getting a job out of state and had interviewed for a company in Arizona. One of the things the Women's Ministry did for conferences/seminars was to gather a group of women before the seminar to pray for God to give them scripture verses. AquaJane was given my name and the verse God gave her for me was this:
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."--Isaiah 43:19
God wasn't really being subtle with me, was He? No, he knew that I would need advance warning for the move he wanted me to make and was graciously giving me that advance warning. And two months later, we were down in Arizona. Many times in the last year, I have felt like a withered plant needing lots of fertilizer, water, and TLC. God has been providing the TLC and Living Water, either directly, or through others. I think I have been pretty good at creating fertilizer ;-).
As I have said, my husband and I have been putting down roots in Arizona for the past 18 months. We have found a church that we enjoy and, because we are people who need to be committed, we have been attending a membership class. We have been prodded by God to participate and serve in the church long before this. Last Sunday, before the membership class, I attended a luncheon for one of the groups that I had joined. The woman who was the leader in my group talked about the difficulty she had during her move and how she knew that she needed to become involved and serve in a church in order to put down deep, strong roots to weather the storms of life. Of course, because I have the tendency to cry at the drop of a hat, I could feel the tears well up as God brought the root metaphor up again, reminding me of how faithful He has been through this transplant.
However, God is reshaping my roots. Unlike prairie flowers, cacti don't have deep roots, they have wide spreading roots. I think there are two reasons for this: sand does not allow water to infiltrate deeply as quickly as loamy soil common in the Midwest. Downpours in Arizona can result in flash floods as the water cannot be quickly absorbed and just runs downhill. Most subdivisions around here have areas called "washes", where rainfall is directed onto grassy basins. So it makes more sense for the roots to be at the surface where the water will actually be, rather than digging down deep where water can't penetrate. The other reason is so that the roots can catch water even during brief rainfalls.
And yet, the blooms on a stodgy, cactus, with its bulgy, waxy, green-grey skin are some of the most delicate, translucent beautiful flowers you can find anywhere. So, somehow, God is changing this flashy, deep-rooted prairie flower to survive in the desert. And I am learning that you don't need deep roots or shallow roots to bloom and bear fruit. You need turn to the God who knows you intimately enough to give you exactly what you need to blossom.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17
The roots theme has been running in my life for a while now. It started during the Winter/Spring of 2009 when I was working with some women to host a prayer seminar in our church. Most of my contribution was in praying with the women and giving a little bit of input, mainly because I felt like a lieutenant next to some four star general prayer warriors . One time, as we were praying, someone was reminded of a vision one of the women had our church being like prairie flowers that typically had their roots growing very deep beneath the earth’s surface as a representation of our church. As we were praying about that vision, I thought I heard God telling me that sometimes He removes healthy plants with deep roots to transplant in other areas. This came at a time when my husband had lost his job and there was a very real possibility that he would be getting a job out of state and had interviewed for a company in Arizona. One of the things the Women's Ministry did for conferences/seminars was to gather a group of women before the seminar to pray for God to give them scripture verses. AquaJane was given my name and the verse God gave her for me was this:
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."--Isaiah 43:19
God wasn't really being subtle with me, was He? No, he knew that I would need advance warning for the move he wanted me to make and was graciously giving me that advance warning. And two months later, we were down in Arizona. Many times in the last year, I have felt like a withered plant needing lots of fertilizer, water, and TLC. God has been providing the TLC and Living Water, either directly, or through others. I think I have been pretty good at creating fertilizer ;-).
As I have said, my husband and I have been putting down roots in Arizona for the past 18 months. We have found a church that we enjoy and, because we are people who need to be committed, we have been attending a membership class. We have been prodded by God to participate and serve in the church long before this. Last Sunday, before the membership class, I attended a luncheon for one of the groups that I had joined. The woman who was the leader in my group talked about the difficulty she had during her move and how she knew that she needed to become involved and serve in a church in order to put down deep, strong roots to weather the storms of life. Of course, because I have the tendency to cry at the drop of a hat, I could feel the tears well up as God brought the root metaphor up again, reminding me of how faithful He has been through this transplant.
However, God is reshaping my roots. Unlike prairie flowers, cacti don't have deep roots, they have wide spreading roots. I think there are two reasons for this: sand does not allow water to infiltrate deeply as quickly as loamy soil common in the Midwest. Downpours in Arizona can result in flash floods as the water cannot be quickly absorbed and just runs downhill. Most subdivisions around here have areas called "washes", where rainfall is directed onto grassy basins. So it makes more sense for the roots to be at the surface where the water will actually be, rather than digging down deep where water can't penetrate. The other reason is so that the roots can catch water even during brief rainfalls.
And yet, the blooms on a stodgy, cactus, with its bulgy, waxy, green-grey skin are some of the most delicate, translucent beautiful flowers you can find anywhere. So, somehow, God is changing this flashy, deep-rooted prairie flower to survive in the desert. And I am learning that you don't need deep roots or shallow roots to bloom and bear fruit. You need turn to the God who knows you intimately enough to give you exactly what you need to blossom.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” James 1:17
August 12, 2010
Like being involved in a rear end accident
Last week, after traveling 4,900 miles halfway across the United States and back without incident, a lady crashed into the back of my car as I sat at a light two miles from my home. There is minimal damage to the car and I have just a little pain in my neck, shoulders and back which will go away soon with a little bit of pampering. However, being struck from behind is the last thing anyone ever expects and part of the pain is the unexpectedness of the blow. One of the many ironies is that I was thinking about a couple who had just lost their child a day after she was born and thinking that losing a baby is a little bit like being involved in a rear end accident.
The fact that the woman was pregnant was somewhat of a miracle. Or maybe I should say, more miraculous than the usual conception under the circumstances. Why would God go to the trouble of miraculously creating life and preparing the couple for being parents and then give them so little time? I don't really expect an answer to that question because the One who has the power to create everything out of nothing isn't really answerable to me and, furthermore, it is not my story. For more of their story, go here.
I must confess that babies dying is a little blow to my faith, like a car accident is a little blow to one's confidence. I am tempted to cry out at the unfairness of it all. And yet, when I really think about it, if God is unfair, it is totally in our favor. We are faithless, greedy, self-centered, rebellious people and He has every right to give us the death we deserve. And yet, instead, he asked His Son to pay the penalty and offers those who follow Him an eternity with Him in a place where there is no more sorrow, no more pain and no more suffering. That is a totally unfair deal which I have gratefully accepted and I wish more people would join me in accepting.
To further buttress my faith in times like these, I remember that God is not just good, He is holy and righteous and love. If you think I should have said "loving", you might be right grammatically but in terms of God's character and makeup, my grammatically incorrect statement might be more better :-). Furthermore, Romans 8:28 says that "God works for the good of those who love him..." (I am required as a Christian to quote this under the circumstances). So this appalling situation is somehow, in some currently unfathomable way, meant for good of my friends, their friends and family, who do love God and seek His will.
These rocks of faith, while they take the edge off the pain, I am sure will not prevent the blackness of grief from overwhelming them at times, just as it hasn't always helped me from going over the edge in overwhelming circumstances. But it has in the past prevented me from completely falling into the abyss. About the time I figuratively feel my hands loosen from the end of the rope I am desperately clutching, I find that God has added a ledge just below my feet that allows me to rest before He pulls me back to safety. Therefore, I am certain that He will do the same thing for them because He is the Father of compassion and God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).
And their faith in overwhelming grief is the stuff of true heros. Read Hebrews 11, sometimes referred to as the annals of God's heros, and then go back and read the actual stories of these list of heros. Most of them were pretty ordinary and had more than one belief/obedience issues with God. And yet, they persevered in their faith in spite of overwhelming circumstances, momentary doubts and backsliding.
"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. . . Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Ps. 62:11 & Ps. 143:8 (Thanks to my AZ friend Lydia for posting this verse on Facebook when everything was happening.)
The fact that the woman was pregnant was somewhat of a miracle. Or maybe I should say, more miraculous than the usual conception under the circumstances. Why would God go to the trouble of miraculously creating life and preparing the couple for being parents and then give them so little time? I don't really expect an answer to that question because the One who has the power to create everything out of nothing isn't really answerable to me and, furthermore, it is not my story. For more of their story, go here.
I must confess that babies dying is a little blow to my faith, like a car accident is a little blow to one's confidence. I am tempted to cry out at the unfairness of it all. And yet, when I really think about it, if God is unfair, it is totally in our favor. We are faithless, greedy, self-centered, rebellious people and He has every right to give us the death we deserve. And yet, instead, he asked His Son to pay the penalty and offers those who follow Him an eternity with Him in a place where there is no more sorrow, no more pain and no more suffering. That is a totally unfair deal which I have gratefully accepted and I wish more people would join me in accepting.
To further buttress my faith in times like these, I remember that God is not just good, He is holy and righteous and love. If you think I should have said "loving", you might be right grammatically but in terms of God's character and makeup, my grammatically incorrect statement might be more better :-). Furthermore, Romans 8:28 says that "God works for the good of those who love him..." (I am required as a Christian to quote this under the circumstances). So this appalling situation is somehow, in some currently unfathomable way, meant for good of my friends, their friends and family, who do love God and seek His will.
These rocks of faith, while they take the edge off the pain, I am sure will not prevent the blackness of grief from overwhelming them at times, just as it hasn't always helped me from going over the edge in overwhelming circumstances. But it has in the past prevented me from completely falling into the abyss. About the time I figuratively feel my hands loosen from the end of the rope I am desperately clutching, I find that God has added a ledge just below my feet that allows me to rest before He pulls me back to safety. Therefore, I am certain that He will do the same thing for them because He is the Father of compassion and God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).
And their faith in overwhelming grief is the stuff of true heros. Read Hebrews 11, sometimes referred to as the annals of God's heros, and then go back and read the actual stories of these list of heros. Most of them were pretty ordinary and had more than one belief/obedience issues with God. And yet, they persevered in their faith in spite of overwhelming circumstances, momentary doubts and backsliding.
"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. . . Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Ps. 62:11 & Ps. 143:8 (Thanks to my AZ friend Lydia for posting this verse on Facebook when everything was happening.)
April 4, 2009
The Importance of proper perspective
About thirty years ago, Canon had an ad campaign with the slogan "Image is everything" with some current tennis star as their spokesperson. It was a creative campaign that managed to send two messages at once--"our camera takes the best images" and "how you look is most important". The second message, can be contrasted by what the Bible says in Isaiah 16:7 and in Matthew 15:18, in which God says that what is in our hearts matter most.
God has been revealing a certain uncleanness in my own heart one morning while Eric and I were hiking up the Echo Summit Trail on Camelback mountain. The trail description said that this trail was for "experienced hikers" only, which definitely does not describe me. At this point in time, I am not in shape at all. However, we reasoned that we could always turn around before we reached the peak. As we walked up the "steep" incline from the street to the start of the trail, I was already huffing a little bit and thinking "Wow, we aren't even on the trail and this is steep." The beginning of the trail was very steep series of steps made to discourage erosion and "help" people walk up. After a very brief level section, the trail turned and become extremely steep. Throughout it all, I managed to make it up each section. Then came the "Holy Moses!" section of the trail, which was divided into two parts. These two sections required you to use a handrail to get up because it was so steep and there were very few toe holds/hand holds to help propel you up. By the way, I gave these sections the name "Holy Moses!" because that is what you said (or some other variation) when you saw them. After mastering these two sections, we walked a brief gently rolling section until we came to the "Wall of Boulders" that seemed like a slightly smaller version of the "Cliffs of Insanity" that Wesley scaled in "The Princess Bride" (okay, I am exaggerating here a little bit). When I reached the top of the boulders, my legs informed me that they were getting REALLY tired and that if I wanted to return (alive) to the car, I should turn around without delay. As in NOW.
So, after a brief rest, Eric and I turned around and climbed down the small hill of boulders, down the two steep handrail hills, down the pretty steep section and the fairly steep steps down to the gentle incline to our car. Did you notice the change in description? Well, my atitude definitely was different on the way down than on the way up, and it wasn't because going down steep hills are any easier than going up them. My legs shook from the exertion because they were so tired already and had to work hard to stay in a controlled descent. However, I had managed to get through each section, so it wasn't as daunting the second time. My perspective had been altered. At this point, God started talking to me about the move and how I have been reacting to it. He showed me how I have been so focused on all the work that has to be done to get ready for the move and all the friends that I have to leave behind that I have forgotten that He is taking me from a place of blessing to a place of blessing and that He is coming with me and my family. I know that God is okay with my grief at having to leave my friends and family and move away from a home I have grown to love. However, it's not as if I have to purge my friends in Illinos (and Indiana, Kentucky, etc.) when I move to Phoenix. I am still grieving because I am still going through the process of saying "good-bye" to people. However, I am trying to train my thoughts so that I remember what a great place we will have in Phoenix and look forward to all the new "hellos" that I will be saying in a short time.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. " 2 Corinthians 10:5
God has been revealing a certain uncleanness in my own heart one morning while Eric and I were hiking up the Echo Summit Trail on Camelback mountain. The trail description said that this trail was for "experienced hikers" only, which definitely does not describe me. At this point in time, I am not in shape at all. However, we reasoned that we could always turn around before we reached the peak. As we walked up the "steep" incline from the street to the start of the trail, I was already huffing a little bit and thinking "Wow, we aren't even on the trail and this is steep." The beginning of the trail was very steep series of steps made to discourage erosion and "help" people walk up. After a very brief level section, the trail turned and become extremely steep. Throughout it all, I managed to make it up each section. Then came the "Holy Moses!" section of the trail, which was divided into two parts. These two sections required you to use a handrail to get up because it was so steep and there were very few toe holds/hand holds to help propel you up. By the way, I gave these sections the name "Holy Moses!" because that is what you said (or some other variation) when you saw them. After mastering these two sections, we walked a brief gently rolling section until we came to the "Wall of Boulders" that seemed like a slightly smaller version of the "Cliffs of Insanity" that Wesley scaled in "The Princess Bride" (okay, I am exaggerating here a little bit). When I reached the top of the boulders, my legs informed me that they were getting REALLY tired and that if I wanted to return (alive) to the car, I should turn around without delay. As in NOW.
So, after a brief rest, Eric and I turned around and climbed down the small hill of boulders, down the two steep handrail hills, down the pretty steep section and the fairly steep steps down to the gentle incline to our car. Did you notice the change in description? Well, my atitude definitely was different on the way down than on the way up, and it wasn't because going down steep hills are any easier than going up them. My legs shook from the exertion because they were so tired already and had to work hard to stay in a controlled descent. However, I had managed to get through each section, so it wasn't as daunting the second time. My perspective had been altered. At this point, God started talking to me about the move and how I have been reacting to it. He showed me how I have been so focused on all the work that has to be done to get ready for the move and all the friends that I have to leave behind that I have forgotten that He is taking me from a place of blessing to a place of blessing and that He is coming with me and my family. I know that God is okay with my grief at having to leave my friends and family and move away from a home I have grown to love. However, it's not as if I have to purge my friends in Illinos (and Indiana, Kentucky, etc.) when I move to Phoenix. I am still grieving because I am still going through the process of saying "good-bye" to people. However, I am trying to train my thoughts so that I remember what a great place we will have in Phoenix and look forward to all the new "hellos" that I will be saying in a short time.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:3
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. " 2 Corinthians 10:5
March 21, 2009
Death and Moving
Doesn't that sound like a great title for a really bad horror flick with a Freddie Krueger-type persona terrorizing all the hosts on the HGTV home decorating shows as well as Martha Stewart? However, both of these things are imminent in my life right now.
My Granny Kloos is entering the final stages of life. She is no longer eating and her lungs are filling up with fluid. After living as a widow for over twenty years, living with fibromyalgia and other worries, she is finally starting to let go of this world. I visited her on Wednesday, right before seeing my brother, and my heart broke because she looked like someone entirely different from the feisty go-getter that I remember. I can only pray that God takes her quickly so that her suffering is minimal. I would like to spend a lot more time at her side so that she isn't alone much in her last days. She has two daughters and a grandson nearby who can be with her, too, but only for limited times. The rest of her grandkids and her two sons live far away and can't necessarily come. I have one huge obstacle preventing me from fulfilling my desire: the fact that we need to be in the Phoenix area before April 27th, when my husband starts his new job.
That's right, we have only a month to get the house ready for sale, find a new house in the Phoenix area, figure out what we need to pack until we move into our new house and say good bye to all of our friends and family. It is a little overwhelming. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who is doing most of the painting, finalizing other home repair projects and dealing with my emotions, which are a little unstable now (no comments from the peanut gallery about the overall stability of my emotions, please!). Also, I have a great God, who tells me to take one day at a time, helps me figure out what needs to be done and helps take away any guilty feelings I have for (simultaneously) neglecting my grandmother/friends/kids/husband/house and reminding me that this job and this move are truly a blessing from Him and that, even though there is some heartache in moving away from one set of family and friends, we are moving closer to another set of family and will develop a new set of friends. He also reminds me that even when no one person is with Granny Kloos, He is there, comforting her and helping her make the journey to Him in heaven, where He can "wipe every tear from (her) eyes" and "where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." (Revelation 21:4). Below is a hymn we learned in January that I have learned to love, in spite of the rather depressing title: Come, Ye Disconsolate.
Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts,
here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Joy of the desolate,
light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent,
fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter,
tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”
Here see the Bread of Life,
see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God,
pure from above.
Come to the feast of love;
come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.
My Granny Kloos is entering the final stages of life. She is no longer eating and her lungs are filling up with fluid. After living as a widow for over twenty years, living with fibromyalgia and other worries, she is finally starting to let go of this world. I visited her on Wednesday, right before seeing my brother, and my heart broke because she looked like someone entirely different from the feisty go-getter that I remember. I can only pray that God takes her quickly so that her suffering is minimal. I would like to spend a lot more time at her side so that she isn't alone much in her last days. She has two daughters and a grandson nearby who can be with her, too, but only for limited times. The rest of her grandkids and her two sons live far away and can't necessarily come. I have one huge obstacle preventing me from fulfilling my desire: the fact that we need to be in the Phoenix area before April 27th, when my husband starts his new job.
That's right, we have only a month to get the house ready for sale, find a new house in the Phoenix area, figure out what we need to pack until we move into our new house and say good bye to all of our friends and family. It is a little overwhelming. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who is doing most of the painting, finalizing other home repair projects and dealing with my emotions, which are a little unstable now (no comments from the peanut gallery about the overall stability of my emotions, please!). Also, I have a great God, who tells me to take one day at a time, helps me figure out what needs to be done and helps take away any guilty feelings I have for (simultaneously) neglecting my grandmother/friends/kids/husband/house and reminding me that this job and this move are truly a blessing from Him and that, even though there is some heartache in moving away from one set of family and friends, we are moving closer to another set of family and will develop a new set of friends. He also reminds me that even when no one person is with Granny Kloos, He is there, comforting her and helping her make the journey to Him in heaven, where He can "wipe every tear from (her) eyes" and "where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." (Revelation 21:4). Below is a hymn we learned in January that I have learned to love, in spite of the rather depressing title: Come, Ye Disconsolate.
Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts,
here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Joy of the desolate,
light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent,
fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter,
tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”
Here see the Bread of Life,
see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God,
pure from above.
Come to the feast of love;
come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.
February 5, 2009
God provides--Part II
My husband wrote a blog a while ago titled "God Provides". This is my follow up.
Six months ago, my husband was promoted. This happened right about the time that Motorola was announcing big problems and a plan to spin off it's cell phone division, which is when God said, "Stay here. I will take care of you." However, his promotion paperwork somehow got "lost" and he never received the pay increase that went along with the promotion. This was brought to light as he reviewed his layoff package. Human resources acknowledged their mistake and agreed to give him back pay and adjust his severence package. So, we didn't get the extra money when we didn't really need it. However, the extra money coming in now means that Eric doesn't need to fret about trying to find a job immediately. God already is providing. Read his blog to see what he has been doing during his first official week off of work.
Praise God!
Six months ago, my husband was promoted. This happened right about the time that Motorola was announcing big problems and a plan to spin off it's cell phone division, which is when God said, "Stay here. I will take care of you." However, his promotion paperwork somehow got "lost" and he never received the pay increase that went along with the promotion. This was brought to light as he reviewed his layoff package. Human resources acknowledged their mistake and agreed to give him back pay and adjust his severence package. So, we didn't get the extra money when we didn't really need it. However, the extra money coming in now means that Eric doesn't need to fret about trying to find a job immediately. God already is providing. Read his blog to see what he has been doing during his first official week off of work.
Praise God!
January 16, 2009
What is your definition of "safe"?
In The Princess Bride, (the book, not the movie), as Wesley leads Buttercup into the "safety" of the fire swamp, Buttercup thinks that Wesley must have learned a different definition of the word "safe."
I think Paul must have had a different definition of the word "rescue", too. In 2 Timothy 3:11, after talking about all of his trials as an apostle, he says "but the Lord rescued me from all of it." It sounds great, doesn't it? Until you read 2 Corinthians 11:24-25, when he describes how he was scourged (whipped) 39 times on five different occasions, beaten with rods on three different occasions, shipwrecked and stoned, which does not mean getting high on drugs, but means literaly having people throw stones at you until they think you are dead (though you might be only mostly dead). There is pretty good evidence that Paul wrote 2 Timothy in his last days on earth, so he was remembering all these events when he says that he was rescued. It's not exactly my definition of rescue.
Yesterday, my husband was laid off of work. We knew things weren't financially good at his company (or should I say his former company? Not yet, he is not totally off company payroll). When things first started looking shaky, we asked God if it was time to leave. "Not yet. Stay where you are", He replied. We had confirmation after confirmation after confirmation that we were to stay where we were. He promised us that He would take care of us. So is God welching on the deal? Are we, like Inigo Montoyo (you killed my father--prepare to die) and Fezzik (you ARE the brute squad), up against impossible odds to storm the castle without a true hero to help us? Hebrews 13:5 promises us that God will never leave us or forsake us. So that means that his definition of "take care of us" is slightly different than our definition, but that He is trustworthy. It means we are still right where God intends us to be and that is a very peaceful place to be.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise him all ye heavenly host! Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
I think Paul must have had a different definition of the word "rescue", too. In 2 Timothy 3:11, after talking about all of his trials as an apostle, he says "but the Lord rescued me from all of it." It sounds great, doesn't it? Until you read 2 Corinthians 11:24-25, when he describes how he was scourged (whipped) 39 times on five different occasions, beaten with rods on three different occasions, shipwrecked and stoned, which does not mean getting high on drugs, but means literaly having people throw stones at you until they think you are dead (though you might be only mostly dead). There is pretty good evidence that Paul wrote 2 Timothy in his last days on earth, so he was remembering all these events when he says that he was rescued. It's not exactly my definition of rescue.
Yesterday, my husband was laid off of work. We knew things weren't financially good at his company (or should I say his former company? Not yet, he is not totally off company payroll). When things first started looking shaky, we asked God if it was time to leave. "Not yet. Stay where you are", He replied. We had confirmation after confirmation after confirmation that we were to stay where we were. He promised us that He would take care of us. So is God welching on the deal? Are we, like Inigo Montoyo (you killed my father--prepare to die) and Fezzik (you ARE the brute squad), up against impossible odds to storm the castle without a true hero to help us? Hebrews 13:5 promises us that God will never leave us or forsake us. So that means that his definition of "take care of us" is slightly different than our definition, but that He is trustworthy. It means we are still right where God intends us to be and that is a very peaceful place to be.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise him all ye heavenly host! Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
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