Getting off the Gerbil Wheel

I wrote a while back about having a bit of a breakdown, that made me realize that I was trying to do it all, and I might add, do it all perfectly.  The purpose of the breakdown was to show me how wrong I was, not just about my abilities, but also my desire to even try.  In some ways, it is a message our society sends to us, making us think that we are not doing enough when we are doing more than we should.  Pinterest and all those other "helpful" articles about how to "do things better" only fuel the inner perfectionist, which should be killed quickly and decisively whenever it resurrects.  So the good news is that I have uncovered yet another disguise of perfectionism and through Christ, my battle against it is being won.

Our family has been working hard to get off the gerbil wheel of activities.  Kyle's baseball season is over and we are taking a break from official games, which means one less thing to do Wednesdays and on weekends.  Jessi's First LEGO League tournament is over and we have our Monday and Thursday afternoons back.  Elizabeth's aerial's performance is next week, which will involve three days and that activity won't be renewed, mainly because we will in the near future be dealing with the extra costs of her having a driving permit.  John is the only one who still has two activities, Cub Scouts and Tae Kwon Do, but both of those at this point are only one day each.  The gerbil wheel of activties is being dismantled.  We are seeing positive affects on our family, which is even better news.

In the past three weeks, however, I have discovered another type of gerbil wheel as I have had to deal with increasing interpersonal conflict in one of the kids' activities and that is a gerbil wheel of the thoughts.  As a person seemed to become increasingly hostile, God gave me several orders, each of which were difficult and could only be done by the Holy Spirit changing my pride-filled, natural self:

1. Philippians 4:8--Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever, is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, focus on those things. 
2. Ephesians 4:31-32--Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander and every form of malice.  Instead, be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other just as in Christ Jesus, God forgave you.

The gerbil wheel of the mind is the bad stuff listed in the Ephesians passage as well as the critical attitude that goes against Philippians 4:8.  When we are in tough situations, it is so easy to fall into griping and anger and bitterness and to view ourselves as the "innocent victim" rather than the co-collaborator.  In this situation, I know that I was definitely a co-collaborator.  I also know that at the beginning of the conflict, I made every attempt to make peace by acknowledging what I knew at the time to be my sins, asking forgiveness and and asking the person to bring up any other offensive conduct on my part so that I could work on my conduct.  And yet it the conflict became worse.  The person stopped talking to me.  So I clung to these two verses and whenever the gerbil wheel invited me to get on, I made a Philippians 4:8 list of the person's good qualities and I forgave the person for any offenses against me.  The immediate affect was that whenever I actually did that, I felt peace regarding the situation, because I knew God was working in it and He was helping me.  He also transformed my mind so that I was able to feel kindness and compassion for the other person, rather than letting bitterness set in.  And this was really important because there came a time when we were generally avoiding each other because the situation was becoming too hard. However, we both knew the day was coming in which we would have to face each other.  And once again, when that day came, God helped me by waking me up with a vision of the humor in the situation--it really probably reads like a bad "womance*" novel if I went into all the detail.  I could laugh at myself and at the absurdity of it, which is just the first victory.  And because He had been training me, when we did end up looking each other in the eye, I was able to offer a compliment--one of the many "excellent and praiseworthy" things upon which I dwelt--as a peace offering.  I saw the person relax and we were able to talk again peaceably.  So the Prince of Peace worked his "magic" on two stubborn people through His word.   What a great Christmas present!  And as a result, we will be getting together to evaluate what went wrong so that we can both learn from the experience and so that our friendship can grow.  

Not to us, Lord, not to us
    but to your name be the glory,
    because of your love and faithfulness.

Psalm 115:1

* if guys can have a "bromance", women should be able to have a "womance".  And the plot of all bad romance novels is that the boy and girl meet  and like each other but some misunderstanding threatens their relationship because they refuse to talk to each other about the situation until the very end, when all details are wrapped up nicely and they live happily ever after.  I hate bad romance novels.  And this situation, even though good came of it, had some negative consequences, both for the adults and for the kids involved in the activity that only God can redeem.

Happy Easter 2014

This season of Lent, the kids and I did a study of all the "I am" statements that Jesus made in the book of John.  Here they are:

• I am the source of living water:  John 4:1-14, 7:37-39
• I am the Messiah:  John 4:15-26
• I am the Bread of Life:  John 6: 25 - 40
• I am the Bread from Heaven:  John 6:41-59
• I am the Light of the World:  John 8:12-18, 9:1-5
• I am YHWH:  John 8:52-58 with references to Exodus 3:14
• I am the Gate for the Sheep:  John 10:1-10
• I am the Good Shepherd who lays his life down for his sheep:  John 10:11-18
• I have authority to lay down my life for my sheep and take it up again:  John 10:11-18
• I am one with God the Father:  John 10: 25-30,  14:8-14
• I am the Resurrection and the Life:  john 11:12-27
• I am the way, the truth, the life; No one gets to God the Father, except through me:  John 14:1-7

I have always thought that John wrote with a sense of humor.  In the past, I have laughed through Jesus' "Whose Your Daddy" argument with the Pharisees in John 8.  This year, my funny bone was struck in John 9.  His disciples raise a theological argument when they see a man  born blind begging in the streets (which of course, is EXACTLY what Jesus wants us to do--NOT).  They ask Jesus if he is blind because of his sins or his parents.  Jesus tells them there is another option:  a chance to see the glory of God at work.  Then he hocks a goober, makes mud with it, and smears the man's eyes with it.  Not exactly what we think of when we hear the words "The Glory of God."  And yet, the man was able to see once he washed the mud out of his eyes.  The story has both a happy and sad ending.  The sad ending is that there were people who saw this miracle, the first unique miracle that Jesus had performed, restoring a genetic defect, and still didn't believe.  They condemned Jesus for breaking their Sabbath rules (not God's) and plotted his death, thinking that God wouldn't save him because Jesus was a sinner.  When they saw Jesus hanging on the cross, thought that God's judgment against him was complete.  Proof that we will believe what we choose to believe, even with evidence for God's existence, His grace, love and mercy staring us in the face.  We see the light, but prefer darkness and blindness to really seeing and really living. But the Good News is that God's Judgement, which WAS placed on Jesus at the cross on our behalf, was replace by grace and mercy when Jesus rose again from the dead, proving once and for all that all the claims he made before the cross were true.  And Jesus still offers grace and mercy to the blind and real life to those who are the living dead.  My prayer is that today, they would see and live.

Christ is Risen!  He is risen indeed!

Good Post-Election Prayers and Thoughts

Instead of joining in those who are wailing or celebrating election results, at the local, state and federal levels, I am going to let God do the talking, though I am taking the liberty of highlighting some of His words.

For those that voted against the people who ended up being elected, this is what God told the Isrealites to do after they had been carried away to Babylon in defeat:

This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” 
Jeremiah 29:  4-7

If God wanted the Isrealites to pray blessings for their "enemies", what do you think He wants us to do for our government representatives who are doing what they feel is for the benefit of our country, even if we don't agree with them on what constitutes a benefit?

A second example is found in Psalm 61:

¹ Hear my cry, O God;
    listen to my prayer.

² From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³ For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

⁴ I long to dwell in your tent forever
    and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah
⁵ For you have heard my vows, O God;
    you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

⁶ Increase the days of the king’s life,
    his years for many generations.
⁷ May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;    appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.

⁸ Then will I ever sing praise to your name
    and fulfill my vows day after day.

Several sites offering historical background for this Psalm seem to feel that David wrote it while running away from his own son, Absalom, who had organized an insurrection against his father and was seeking to kill him and all of his followers--a horrible betrayal of the deepest trust and a potential severance of all family ties of love.  Okay, if you have read the story, you know that Absalom and David weren't very close and that David had banished his son for fratricide in an earlier incident.  Still, David prayed for the next king's benefit and blessing, even when the king was seeking his demise.  And in that really hard place, David knew who to turn to for help.

Finally, we have instructions from Jesus, son of God, God-With-Us, King of Kings, The Redeemer and Savior, who WILL one day return to set up his eternal kingdom and end all political turmoil:

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:43-45

As I have said before, Jesus doesn't just talk the talk:  while he is on the cross, he asks God to forgive those who called for his crucifixion.

So here are three distinct walking orders from God to stop moaning and whining about the election results, and calling those in the opposite political camps all sorts of names as if you are stuck in middle-school mentality/maturity level.  Suck it up and show respect to the people that God has put in power over us.  This doesn't mean that we have to be silent when we see abuses of power, lies being presented as truth, injustice or skullduggery.  It also doesn't mean that when someone of the opposite political persuasion repeatedly voices their opinion just to make sure that you know where they stand, you are not allowed to express your opposing opinion.  I would just ask that you do so respectfully, knowing that the other person is also made in the image of God and dearly loved by God.  There will be other elections in which we can work to get the people we want in office.

And for those who are celebrating because your candidate(s) won and ESPECIALLY for those people who were just elected/re-elected, remember this:
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

May God bless you and keep you!

Lenten Lessons

I have read the Bible from cover to cover at least three times and I am starting my fourth.  I have read other books of the Bible in depth at least once.  Every Easter, I read through one of the gospels. I am not saying this to brag, but to demonstrate the reason I read it so much:  each time I read the Bible, I read something that hasn't caught my attention in the past.

This year has been no different.  For Bridgetender Homeschool, we have been reading through Matthew for the season of Lent.  And the Easter message on Sunday was from Matthew 28:1-10. Here are some of my notes from our readings:

• Matthew 1:1-16 is a list of Jesus' lineage.  There are four women in the list--Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and Bathsheeba.  At least three of these women were Gentiles and one, Bathsheeba, was married to a Gentile before becoming David's wife.  If God lets non-Jews to be part of Jesus' human ancestry, wouldn't that foreshadow His desire to bring people from all nations into His family?
• In Matthew 4:1-11, Satan tempted Jesus three times.  The first time, he tempted Jesus with physical gratification and Jesus answered the temptation with Scripture. Satan counter-attacked Jesus by mis-using Scripture and Jesus refuted it with properly-applied Scripture.  Satan tempted Jesus with worldly power and Jesus replied with Scripture.  Isn't that a good argument for memorizing scripture?
• In Matthew 4:13-15, Jesus  moved to Capernaum.  In his lifetime, he had three other places that he called home--Nazareth, Bethlehem (birthplace), and Egypt (refuge).  All four of these homes were prophesied hundreds of years before he was born.  Capernaum is the first place in which he was able to choose where he lived.  
• Matthew 6 begins with Jesus telling people not to make a spectacle of their faith to get other people's approval.  This commandment is to fulfill the commandment to worship God alone.  Then, when he performs his first miracle as recorded by Matthew, he directs the man he has healed to tell no one, but to go to the priests and offer sacrifices to God for being healed.  He actually walks the talk!
• Jesus never used manipulations or salesmanship when calling his disciples in Matthew 4:17-22.  He just gives a word to follow him and they do.  Then he shows his disciples what to do by preaching God's word, His good news and healing people.  The Word speaks and does, once again.
• Many times, the Pharisees try to trap Jesus into doing or saying something that will bring the wrath of Rome on him.  They try and trick him into discrediting God (Matthew 12:1-14; 15:1-9; 16:1-4; 19:1-11; 21:23-27; 22:15-40).  Jesus avoids each and every trap and manages to stump the Pharisee with just a few questions (Matthew 21:23-27; 22:41-46).
• Anyone who thinks Jesus is meek, mild and loving, without anger has not read Matthew 23.
• In Matthew 28:1-10, the big, burly, Roman soldiers, the terror of the known world, see one of God's angles and faint like delicate flowers in the desert summer sun.  The women who had followed Jesus while he was living come to finish the burial process, see the angel and maintain enough command of their senses to actually listen to him.  I do not think that this is evidence that "girls rule and boys drool."  Instead, I wonder if the men fainted because what they saw as unbelievers is the wrath of God emanating from the angel, while the women saw God's grace and mercy from their time with Jesus.

It was a great season of Lent and a great Easter weekend.  I hope yours was great, too.  Now we have entered the season of Pentecost, when Jesus' disciples wait for the promised Holy Spirit to annoint them with the same power that Jesus has.  Matt Maher has a great blog about Easter and post-Easter here.

Happy Epiphany!

My sister-in-law introduced me many years ago to the idea of celebrating Epiphany. Her family celebrates it instead of (or is it "in addition to") Christmas. Epiphany is the date that the Church set as the date that the Wise Men brought their gifts to Jesus. It is celebrated on the twelfth day after Christmas, which is probably where the song "Twelve Days of Christmas" originated. So a few years ago, I decided to try and celebrate the holiday in a very low key way--have a cake on January 6th and give kids verses that Eric is given when he prays for the kids.

When Elizabeth was about two years old, God inspired us to pray and ask Him for verses for our kids for each year. Then, when they became adults or left for college, we could give them their life verses. I bought a scrapbook for each of the girls to make the verses really pretty. When the boys were born, we added scrapbooks for them and gave them verses. There is a gap of two years around Kyle's birth in which Eric was too busy to pray, mainly because at that time we were traveling at Christmas. It was one of the many reasons we decided to stay at home for Christmas. Initially, we would present them to the kids as the first Christmas present. However, when a pile of presents is waiting for you, a gift from Jesus that involves words is not that impressive. Eventually, it became the reason we started celebrating Epiphany, so that Jesus wouldn't have to compete ;-).

The really interesting thing is how these verses have sometimes been so timely. For instance, the Christmas before all the upheaval of Eric's layoff hit us, God gave Elizabeth, who was probably most affected by the move in terms of friends, Psalm 34:15 and He gave to Kyle the verses John 6:32-33, to remind us of His provision. Jessi's verse, Psalm 119:108 encouraged us to praise God through it all, and John's verse, Romans 3:22, reminded us that God's best provision for us was His righteousness, which we didn't deserve on our own merits.

It is amazing how faithful God has been in giving Eric verses for the kids and how faithfully Eric has been praying every year for his children. Good job, honey! I love you!

Does anyone else celebrate Epiphany?