March 21, 2009

Death and Moving

Doesn't that sound like a great title for a really bad horror flick with a Freddie Krueger-type persona terrorizing all the hosts on the HGTV home decorating shows as well as Martha Stewart? However, both of these things are imminent in my life right now.

My Granny Kloos is entering the final stages of life. She is no longer eating and her lungs are filling up with fluid. After living as a widow for over twenty years, living with fibromyalgia and other worries, she is finally starting to let go of this world. I visited her on Wednesday, right before seeing my brother, and my heart broke because she looked like someone entirely different from the feisty go-getter that I remember. I can only pray that God takes her quickly so that her suffering is minimal. I would like to spend a lot more time at her side so that she isn't alone much in her last days. She has two daughters and a grandson nearby who can be with her, too, but only for limited times. The rest of her grandkids and her two sons live far away and can't necessarily come. I have one huge obstacle preventing me from fulfilling my desire: the fact that we need to be in the Phoenix area before April 27th, when my husband starts his new job.

That's right, we have only a month to get the house ready for sale, find a new house in the Phoenix area, figure out what we need to pack until we move into our new house and say good bye to all of our friends and family. It is a little overwhelming. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who is doing most of the painting, finalizing other home repair projects and dealing with my emotions, which are a little unstable now (no comments from the peanut gallery about the overall stability of my emotions, please!). Also, I have a great God, who tells me to take one day at a time, helps me figure out what needs to be done and helps take away any guilty feelings I have for (simultaneously) neglecting my grandmother/friends/kids/husband/house and reminding me that this job and this move are truly a blessing from Him and that, even though there is some heartache in moving away from one set of family and friends, we are moving closer to another set of family and will develop a new set of friends. He also reminds me that even when no one person is with Granny Kloos, He is there, comforting her and helping her make the journey to Him in heaven, where He can "wipe every tear from (her) eyes" and "where there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain." (Revelation 21:4). Below is a hymn we learned in January that I have learned to love, in spite of the rather depressing title: Come, Ye Disconsolate.

Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts,
here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate,
light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent,
fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter,
tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”

Here see the Bread of Life,
see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God,
pure from above.
Come to the feast of love;
come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.

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